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“There’s no love
Like your love
And no other
Could give me more love”
This blog post is a day late, just like the bundle of joy it’s about was.
There is SO much I could say about this experience that has already changed me, so today is about the labor of love and how Chip came into the world.
His due date was Monday, January 7th, 2019. I didn’t want an early baby, but deep down I wouldn’t have minded a New Year’s baby. Well that came and went. On the morning of his due date, I felt different. I did a leg workout with Dave which was extremely slow and modified. I tried to walk on the treadmill after and felt so much pressure in my belly, I tried going much slower than usual but had to stop after a couple of minutes.  I thought I felt a little leak but being my first baby, I didn’t really know what to feel for.
I went home on lunch, had some leftover goulash, and texted my sister about my back pains. Then I thought I felt another leak. My sister said it could be my water. I was a mix of nervous and happy.
After a little bit, I dozed and felt a little better. A little disappointed, I went back to work that afternoon feeling ok. Training people. Talking about when my doctor would induce.
At 8pm, while watching the bachelor, my back pain picked up again. At 10pm, I had another sign in the bathroom. Now I had a glimpse of nervous. This was new. But my mom and sisters were asleep so I just continued going to bed. I tossed and turned with back pain til 1am when Dave woke up and rubbed my back. It wasn’t getting better but my belly wasn’t too bad. I started my contraction timer just in case.
These things seem self explanatory but I didn’t know if I was timing it right. After lots of pain, Dave made me call the DR at 2am. She said wait til they are closer. But the problem is my back pain wasn’t really stopping. I went back to bed and couldn’t lay there. Dave had to be up early to leave for Rochester so I got out of bed and knelt next to it like I was praying. Still no relief. Still too early for my family to answer texts. Plus I wasn’t sure what was going on.
I went down to my living room, laying on my side on my giant bean bag.
This was labor.
4:31 I texted Carly. I knew she’d be up to workout. And she said, text your GYNO. You’re going to have your baby today, while worrying I wouldn’t go in time but not letting me know that.
Dave found me on the floor and at 5am I spoke with my dr. She said if I’m that uncomfortable to get to the hospital. Worst case they send you home. I knew I wasn’t going home. Dave cAncelled his appointments. Loaded up the car. And I said wait, I need to shower. I hadn’t washed my hair in days. And maybe it will help the pain.
As soon as I got my hair wet, I instantly regretted it. I wasn’t gonna make it. The pain didn’t let up. I’d bend over in pain in the shower. I couldn’t go more than a minute drying my hair. Dave kept coming in urging me to stop drying my hair because he was not going to be the one to deliver chip! I said I was fine but deep down I worried he was right.
We were about to leave and nausea made me rip off my coat and run to the bathroom. I avoided vomiting but I knew I had to get to the hospital.
I tried to film a video in the car so chip could see it later and I could barely get my thoughts out. Then… our song came on. Tim McGraw’s NEON CHURCH. I heard this song in the car one day and instantly loved it. It would play soooo many times driving that I would sing it to chip. I’d play it during our workouts. And of course, that morning, on it came.
We got to the hospital, I waited on a bench for Dave to park. I couldn’t even make it to the 4th floor without stopping in pain. We got in elevator and the nurse looks at me and says, “maternity??” And off we went.
It was quiet and calm in there. I went right into a room where my nurse started her role. My pain was not stopping. I couldn’t lay in bed. I’d kneel by the bed. I’d throw myself over the table. I’d grip the bathroom sink. My mom shower up and neither her nor Dave could help, though they tried. Rubbing my back didn’t even help. I’d reply to the nurse between my back pain but there was very little talking going on.  I don’t even know what was going on with belly contractions because my back labor was so terrible.
I walked in at 7am, 2cm dilated. By 9:00, they looked at me and said, “we need to get this girl some pain killers.”
I knew I was not against an epidural and let me tell you that even if I was, that would have gone out the window. I was in non stop pain and nothing would relieve it. As scared as I was for the risks of the epidural, I prayed for relief. I can’t bring chip into the world this way.
9:30am, after about 5-6 hours straight of back labor, my mom, dad and Dave left the room. Epidural time. Needles don’t bother me. But the way I had to sit, while writhing in pain, was so bad. It was hard enough to bend forward over my belly. Add the pain and you wonder how you’ll get through this. But you do. You have to stay still. Sit forward. Round your shoulders. And all they kept telling me through this labor was that I needed to relax. My back muscles were super tight, making the epidural difficult. And your uterus is a muscle so if you raise your shoulders in pain everyday contraction, it can’t do what it’s supposed to do on its own. Which is why I wanted that epidural. I didn’t want to keep preventing progress.
They got the epidural done and 3 minutes later I was relieved. I could relax. I could speak. But most importantly, I could enjoy my labor!!! I could bring chip into this world not being so stressed.
That labor was so nuts that I felt like I already had my baby! After all that pain and work it seemed like they should be handing me my baby now.
I relaxed and they fully broke my water at 10am. I was 6cm dilated. At about 11:45, I started shivering and shaking uncontrollably. I knew this was ok because Carly told me how it happened to her and her baby was born right after.
I told the nurse I was feeling pressure and clearly shaking. My mom was holding me steady a little which helped keep me feeling calm. They checked again and 9.5cm dilated. We took our final estimates on weight and arrival time at 12:30pm.
It was go time.
Everyone but Dave left the room. Me, Dave and my nurse. We waited for 10cm and tried some pushing. Unfortunately, chips heart rate was decelerating after pushes when I was on my back. We decided to wait a little bit and lay on my left side where his heart rate stayed strong. Letting my uterus do a little more work on its own…
A little after 1:00, we started pushing. We tried staying on my side but the pushes weren’t as strong. Finally, we’d push on my back, recover on my side. At about 1:30 the doctor said she’s going to try to deliver from below, but if his heart rate stays too low too long, we may need emergency c section.
It’s funny going into this I had 3 main goals.
1. To not have to be induced. ✅
2. To have an epidural if needed ✅
3. To avoid a c-section
But in that moment, if my little guy needed the c-section, then so be it. I had no reservations.
I started to get the hang of pushing and I was motivated by getting chip out healthy as soon as possible. At 1:53, on my first push of my last set, out he came.
I felt him come out, head and shoulder and alien like limbs.
He cried.
We did it.
Chip was born.
Dave cut the cord and chip just looked around and around, so alert.
They placed him on my chest and he looked at me, like the moment I wondered about most. He climbed up my chest. He sucked on anything he could. And in that moment, we were changed.
I can’t believe the overwhelming feeling of love for him, for dave, for us.
So many people were waiting for this guy. And he knew not to make mommy wait too long, she isn’t patient and she worries.
And despite higher weight percentiles during some of my pregnancy and fear of a large baby at times, chip entered this world at 8lb 1oz and 20” long.
I didn’t give birth in daves truck. I didn’t need to be induced. I didn’t need a c-section. And I’m thankful my epidural gave me the ability to enjoy this moment as much as possible.
While birth has much controversy around many things, all I know and care about is my boy. However he got here, it’s just important he got here.
As painful as it was, it was a labor of love that I will never forget.
The best day of my life.
I’m a mom now.
“There’s no love
Like your love
And no other
Could give more love”
Lisa Marie