WHY DO YOU…
If you’re like me, you don’t really like to show your weaknesses. Who would?? Maybe you had a parent, coach or society teach you “no pain, no gain,” the mentality of always pushing through. Well I hate that saying. I hate that mentality. Life is hard enough, not everything calls for pushing through. And not pushing through doesn’t equate to failing.
I woke up this morning envious. This happened many times lately actually. Envious of what?? RUNNERS. No, I am not a runner. However, I do enjoy going for a run sometimes. And now, I can’t. I mean, I could… I’m not injured, but I AM pregnant. And running was one of the first exercises that did not feel right to me as my pregnancy progressed. At first, I wanted to be super woman. I ran anyway. I changed my gait. I slowed down. I cut it short. And then I asked myself, “WHY? Why are you pushing through a run when it doesn’t feel good for obvious reasons? So you can say you’re the girl who ran all through her pregnancy??”
Kind of. Pregnant or not, as an athlete, I do have that pride. I like to finish what I start. I don’t like to quit. I don’t like to modify. I don’t like to pull back. But sometimes, the smartest thing to do is to NOT be superwoman, but intuitive woman. We are blessed with that gift, and we must listen to it.
So I stopped going for runs. And you know what?? I have found how much I freakin miss it. I MISS RUNNING!!! I never thought I would. I thought I have plenty of other options, I’d be fine. But it’s WHY I miss it that makes me miss it even more. Running includes my favorite things; moving, sweating, loud music and being outside. While I have subbed it with my walks, my walks are done for different reasons. I walk to think. I walk without music, most of the time. I don’t walk to sweat, but I do walk to move. It just accomplishes different things for me.
And even though I’m a fair weather runner, running maybe 6-8 months of the year, it allows me to be outside in my favorite weather and kill many birds with one stone.
But, you know what I found out? While I miss running, one of my major reasons for missing it IS NOT for weight loss or body control. It truly isn’t. I never thought I’d say this. I mean if that was my goal, I could accomplish it so many other ways that I wouldn’t miss running. But I realized, as I watch others running in this beautiful weather, whether it’s hot and humid or cloudy and cooler, that I actually love to go for a run…
I would love to go for a run because I actually enjoy it. And that has taken my over a decade to return to.
I used to always do activity for fun, not for weight control. And then in my 20’s every movement I made was to burn another calorie, drop a pants size. But it’s not like that anymore. I love moving because it feels good, because it makes me feel good. It isn’t focused on weight loss, which was a huge weight to lose in my life.
I know I’ll get to run again, so it’s ok. I’m choosing other activities I enjoy that feel better during pregnancy, but it has made me realize I have gotten to a place I never thought I would be again. A place where my weight isn’t front and center anymore. A place where health and mindset matters most, and my body follows with that.
I don’t have to portray some super woman image, pregnant or not, but especially now. I’m ok eliminating for now, modifying, or pulling back if I need to. I’m happy to know this is where I am now and it’s ok.
So, when I ask you to find activities you actually enjoy to help end your obsession with your body, this is why. Because it works.
You cannot be grateful and obsessed at the same time.