09
12
2018

I CAN ONLY IMAGINE…

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9:00 pm we started watching I CAN ONLY IMAGINE. Emotional AF. I was laying on my right side w my head on Dave and felt something toward my right side. I put my hand on it and questioned it a couple times. After not feeling it for a little bit, I sat up.

I sat there bawling hard over the movie when he forgave his dad for his abusive childhood. When they made up. When he wrote in his journal- the dad I always wanted is finally here and he is leaving me

😢😢😢😢 I couldn’t stop crying. Dave too. The funeral. The memories. Sooo emotional.
And then a kick.

Clearly a kick.

I put my hand on it and felt it again. And then I told Dave he’s kicking and he got to feel it! I went from so sad to soooo happy. Major butterflies. Emotions like when we found out he was a boy… just u controllable. Bigger than I’d ever expect. I can’t explain what I felt. But it’s during a movie like this? How ironic. Like he wanted to say “Hi. Stop bawling, guys.” And the father/son relationship symbolism… Dave will get to be the dad he wants to be. A man of few words, but his actions say a ton. Just the squeeze of his hand at certain times tells me more than words could. I have a feeling chip may be just like that.
But maybe he’ll be into writing and journaling like in this movie and like his mom.
Who knows, but after waiting just about 22 weeks, making mommy nervous, he chose tonight to say hello, just when we both needed it.

💙💙💙

He’s reassured me at the sonograms by waving 👋 and tonight by kicking. At my most emotional times, he comforts me and he doesn’t even know it.
I CAN ONLY IMAGINE…. what it will be like to meet him and kiss his face for the first time.

❤❤

xoxo,

lisa marie